Why did that chicken cross the road?

I know it's been slow here lately. Here's an email I got from a friend today that really cracked me up:

Why did that chicken cross the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.


COLIN POWELL

Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.


HANZ BLIX

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed access to the other side of the road.


MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)

The chicken did not cross the road. This is a compl ete fabrication. We
don't even have a chicken.


SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it


RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed
by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.


PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.


RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I 'll bet someone out
there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of
this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your
money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens
to cross.


MARTHA STEWART

No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.


JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the

plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other
side. That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the
other side.


DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!


ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain. Alone.


MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.


GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.


BARBARA WALTERS

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.


JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.


ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


KARL MARX

It was an historical inevitability.


VOLTAIRE

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
death its right to do it.


RONALD REAGAN

What chicken?


CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.


FOX MULDER

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?


SIGMUND FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.


BILL GATES

I have just released eChicken 20 03, which will not only cross roads,
but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook
- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.


ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath
the chicken?


BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken, please?


COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?